Archive for Poetry
Hey, look. Flapperhouse is featuring “5/15/1984,” one of my two poems from their Summer 2015 issue.
“Galápagos” was partly inspired by an article I read last year about Harriet, Charles Darwin’s Galápagos tortoise, who died in Australia in 2006. Yes, 2006.
The magazine will be available in print soon, but you can find the online issue here. (I’m on page 24.)
Check it out, lit-mongers. My poems “5/15/1984” and “Red Planet” are in the Summer 2015 issue of Flapperhouse.
I’m smack in the middle of reading my copy now, and as is always the case, there’s some excellent work in this issue. And I haven’t even gotten to my pieces.
(I’m on pages 39 and 40, by the by.)
My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky
Unless, of course, the day is hot,
In which case I’ll have found a spot
Indoors to keep me nice and cold
Or else I’ll die!
You might think me a lazy lot.
That’s as may be, but I’m the chap
Who’s having a cool, relaxing nap.
Your Christmas hello was delightful,
But the postscript it bore was most frightful.
You wrote—like a jerk—
“Season’s Greetings Won’t Work!”
And thus sounded bitter and spiteful.
“Happy Holidays” sets you complaining.
We get it, there’s no need explaining.
You’ve told us at length,
How this saps all your strength,
So please, hush, now, our patience is straining.
You seem to think you’re bound to please us,
While, in truth, we just hope you’ll release us.
It may seem quite bold,
But it’s grown rather old,
Your pedantically referencing Jesus.
Toward you, we feel nothing but deference,
When it comes to your religious preference,
But it seems rather pissy,
If you throw a right hissy,
When you hate someone’s holiday reference.
In the process of showing your ass,
And revealing a side that was crass,
There’s one tidbit you missed,
An unfortunate twist,
Now the world knows you’re lacking in class.
Please don’t think I’m laying a trap,
And I’m not trying to cause a big flap,
But, between you and me,
We all wish you’d take a long nap.
I take it all back, you’re the best,
It’s not in my nature to jest*,
We know you’re a rebel,
Such a trailblazing devil,
Don’t believe those who say you’re a pest.
Just kidding, there’s still some to tell.
I’ve one last true statement to sell.
It’s important to know this,
I’m at pains to help show this.
Your whines are annoying as hell.
*Full Disclosure: It is most definitely in my nature to jest. In fact, I do it almost exclusively.